Heimweh - Thoughts on Homesickness and my Previous Hatred towards Boise ID

So my homesickness finally arrived. Of course I was expecting it... I guess it just took me off guard. Swept me off my feet this morning in a very nonromantic way.
Homesickness has been a tricky friend of mine since I first started spending the night at my grandparents and grandmas house. You know what I mean right? You go to your grandparents house, its freaking awesome, you eat a bunch of sweets and watch movies that maybe you shouldn't be watching and its like the best time of your life! But then you're lying there on your grandmothers couch a few minutes after she tucks you in and you feel a hole in your heart. Like, oh geez, what if I need my mom tonight? What if I need my dad? What if they need me? It sinks in and the voices won't stop tugging at you until you burst into tears and end up calling your parents to rescue you from such terror. I had this happen so many times as a child. And in my teenage years when it wasn't cool to call your parents at sleepovers... The homesickness ate at me all the time. All I wanted was my bed, my dogs, and the security that I was there for my family at any moment of the night.
Moving to Germany was me facing homesickness, flipping it off, and moving on with my life. Or so I wanted it to be... But I remember those first six months clearly. They were full of tears, holes in my heart, and doubt. Was moving to another country for a year the right thing to do? I should've just stayed at home...
After six months, I found that the Kless's house felt like home to me, and while the Heimweh for Boise bugged me, it was overshadowed by how comfortable I was here. And when I left the Kless's to go back to Boise, it was another rough six months of having homesickness for Germany...
I don't think I'll ever live my life without homesickness. I was so homesick for Germany and when I got here, it was bliss. It was like waking up from a coma. Now that a month and one week has gone by, I feel the reality of leaving Boise.
While I never plan on living in Boise again, I will always miss it. I'll miss the mountains and the river, the Co-op stealing my money from me, the exciting moments when the Record Exchange had that one piece of music you were looking for... I'll miss the Hyde Park Street Fair, the time of year when the hot air ballons show up and you think to yourself "damn its that time of year already?". I'll miss midnight drives up to Bogus, the ability to get out of town and barely make it home on a half tank of gas... I'll miss walking past Boise High while on a guilt trip work out sesh at the YMCA.
Home sickness it not just about missing your house and your family... its about missing a community. While Boise simply was not the place for me to start my adult life, I will always love and respect it as a city that it simply gorgeous and full of life.

Pictures from the first month!

Because I can't control the format very well, just check out this random assortment of photos from the last month! Sorry that its backwards, but pictures of what my room first looked like is at the end... :) then just a few photos from hiking along the Elbe, hanging out with my Toddy man and Linda :) and! I also got to see my friend Elliese from Boise who is doing an exchange year in Flensburg, only a few hours away from Hamburg :)

One Month in!

Once Thursday shows up tomorrow , I will have been here in Wedel for one month! Its incredible how fast time has passed but how it feels like time hasn't passed at all... Very surreal, but at the same time, its very wonderful. I'm so so so happy and thankful to be back in Germany. I am the happiest and healthiest I've ever been in my life, both mentally and physically, and strive to continue trekking through my life with this outgoing attitude.
One of the best surprises I got about a week after arriving is that remodeling my room was to become a top priority. The room in the basement is the one I lived in last time I was here and it was about due time to clean it out and fix it up. Thanks to the wonderful family and friends that I have, my room has transformed into a glorious, spacious place that I love being in with the fluffiest carpet ever! I really can't thank everyone enough who helped make my new room possible.
A few German words that I learned through repetition whilst helping remodel my room are Staubig (dusty), Tapete (wallpaper), and Flauschig (fluffy). Tapete is a word that I struggled with because it sounds a lot like Teppich (carpet) and there was constant discussion with those two both in the sentences and it got quite confusing...
I'm slowing picking up my German speaking skills again.... slowly. Thanks to this last year in German 4, understanding and reading German has become no problem at all. My vocabulary expands every day and the most important thing to do is ask what something means! I still make newbie mistakes, but repetition has been good to me lately. Speaking is still taking a little bit due to being very self conscious about my American accent and the challenge of putting sentences together, but I will get there.
As of now, I have a few babysitting jobs set up that will run parallel with a German bootcamp course that starts in two weeks. I'm exciting to be in school for something at least, because I can't really study officially until my three month tourist visa is up, so this course should buy me some time in my weeks to come.
Besides remodeling and being with all my friends and family, I've picked up running and reading to fill in empty spaces in my days. Running has been good to me (no matter how much I hate it) and I just finished The Silence of the Lambs the other night, which was fabulous.
I miss Boise, but there's a strong feeling in my heart that tells me moving back to Germany was the right thing to do. I doubt I'll ever live in Boise again. Of course I will visit, but life feels a lot bigger than Idaho right now and that feels good. Someone asked me the other day when I planned on moving back to Boise and I really couldn't give her an answer. In fact, the question threw me off. I haven't really thought ahead of studying here... I guess we shall just have to see!

Now for a few pictures!!! On the next post because I can't seem to figure out how to put them on the same post!!! yay!!!

A few photos

 They hd to wait so long because I lost my bag :(

 We we finally got together with my one bag (and one in Iceland) and no one sent me back home!! It was wonderful seeing them after a year and two months.

 The Toddy man and I after many surprises and a wonderful dinner.

Linda!! It was wonderful to be reunited with my best friend :):)

I'm Back!!!

I am back in Wedel! For those of you who need to be caught up, welcome to my new/old blog! Besides creating a new one to keep everyone updated, I figured that just using my old blog from my exchange year would be easiest.
So! Here I am! After a very stressful flight, I finally arrived in Germany on Thursday afternoon to be greeted by the Kless's! I almost thought that I wouldn't make it here thank you to ridiculous ladies at airline checkins who tell you that you will be sent home or forced to buy a return ticket when you get to immigrations (what an awesome beginning to my journey right!?!?) But alas, she was just a ridiculous checkin lady, and the immigration people in Iceland didn't even look at me while they stamped my passport.
And then my bag with all my clothes in it was left in Iceland... awesome again. But thanks to the wonderful people at the Hamburg Airport, it arrived to me last night in tip top condition.
As of five minutes ago I am all unpacked and settled in.
This time around, it was much easier knowing how to pack and what to bring with me. This time I brought rainboots, more scarfs, and a wider variety of long sleeved shirts so I don't wear the same thing every time its below freezing outside. I also brought Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for the German family (a delicacy) and my trusty neti pot because I just got a sinus infection! Woo!
First thing about Germany that kind of freaked me out is that THE SPIDERS GOT SO HUGE. JUST YOU WAIT TILL I POST SOME PICTURES BECAUSE THOSE MOMMAS ARE GIGANTIC. I thought it was bad in the basement I was living in in the North End! Nooooo way! This is much worse. These are like two inches long spiders and its not fun.
Today was fun though! I got to eat breakfast with the fam which is something I missed dearly, spent three hours on the beach in beautiful weather with my family and neighbors, and then had an incredible four course meal with new family friends.
All in all, a bumpy ride here, but a wonderful start to my next block of life in Germany. I'll get around to posting pictures and feel free to leave comments and ask questions!

Two days.

That's counting today and tomorrow.
So more like.
The rest of today, tomorrow, and I'm leaving at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday, so Wednesday night.
Do you know how much time that is?
None at all.
Never has one week gone by so quickly in my life.
My room has slowly emptied.
My tears come more often, especially after the wonderful surprise going away party that I received.
This is my home. And my year is coming full circle.
Its amazing to finally see some of the results from my year.
My German, myself, my family, my everything.
I've grown.
I've accomplished what I set out to do.
Plus more.

Its amazing what one person can do with a little courage and a few supportive family members.

Its incredible what one person can do when they believe in themselves.

As the last 40 hours tick by on this strange sped up clock in this strange dream called Germany, I can't stop thinking about....well everything. This past year, the next years in front of me, what family means, who family is, my friends here and at home, teachers, dogs, the weather.
Everything.

My packing situation is finally under control after a week of sorting through things.
I sent a package home last week full of books.
And a package today full of shoes and bags.
Now I have one, very full, checked suitcase which is filled with coats, candy, socks, and my bathroom stuff.
And my carry on back pack with all my clothes plus my laptop.
And then my hand bag, which consists of pictures, sudoku, and all sorts of small things that I may need.

Heres how June 20th looks so far, if anyone is too interested.

I will be leaving my house at 4:30 in the morning to arrive at the Hamburg airport at 5 a.m. to get ready for my flight at 6:00 a.m. that takes me to Frankfurt.
At 7:15 I'm at Frankfurt and have to get my stuff together for my flight at 9:50 a.m.
THEN I TRAVEL BACK SIX HOURS IN TIME ON AN EIGHT HOUR FLIGHT WOOOOOO.
And arrive in Washington D.C. at 12:45 in the afternoon.

After that, I get to wait until 7:05 p.m. until my flight to Minneapolis! Woo! Seven hours cool wow so awesome, thats cool.
And then when I get to Minneapolis at 8:40, I get to flight to Boise at 9:55, whichs means I'll go back two more hours, and be in Boise at midnight Mountain time.
So lets think about this.
If we count all the time in Mountain time, I'll be leaving at 8:30 p.m. from my house on Wednesday and arriving in Boise at midnight Thursday night.
Ooohohohoh.
That means I'll be abroad FOR OHMYGOODNESS 28 HOURS.
Blah.
Blah blah blah.

My feelings are all over the place and I don't know how to feel anymore.

Abschiedsfeier Juni 2013

 Mit wörter, ich kann einfach nichts erklären wie amazing heute war. Danke an euch alle fur die beste Abschiedsfeier. Danke fur die beste Jahr, und ein million Dankes fur euren Liebe.
In Hamburg sagt man Tschuss, das heisst Auf Wiedersehen <3