Two months is such a strange amount of time. Its as if I never left Germany.... But did I just get here? Who am I? Am I really turning 20 in a few days? The big two zero? Two decades of the world being blessed with my presence?
Is it really November? Is it really almost 2015? I find that it is often I'm asking myself these questions while time keeps on ticking forward without giving a damn about what I think of it. I'm not sure of the exact details about how time works, but what I do know is that its unforgiving, whether you chose to be hurt by it or not. Its probably the one variable we don't have control over in our lives.
Things, like always, have slowly been pulling together with grace and a lot of patience. I'm currently enrolled in a German class at the local community center which will add to my University language requirements when I apply in July. As of two weeks ago, I decided that I want to become a teacher. The idea has always been in the back of my head, but I never thought that I would pursue it... But it was the first thing that jumped out of my mouth when I finally asked myself to make a final decision. Not that a final decision was needed, but I was sick of not feeling like I had a plan. So I made one...
I'll start school next October, studying English and (insert other subject here... I'm thinking math) and in four years I'll have my bachelors degree, and two years after that, a masters in teaching those two subjects!
It feels wonderful to have a plan. To have all the papers in front of me and to feel ready to start this whole process of my career. Yet, on the other hand, the idea of the next seven years of my life dedicated to this city and country feels overwhelming. I knew from the beginning that this is what I want, but its always overwhelming... And sometimes it crushes me and sometimes the feeling pushes me to do better. I know once school starts I'll feel more secure and comfortable about it, but until I get accepted, I feel like I'm free falling. And sometimes that's what living is all about. Taking chances that you aren't %100 sure about. Nothing worth it is just going to happen with a snap... working towards this will be worth it whether its right for me or not...
Sorry for the mental blurb, I've been mulling this over way too often lately, but it feels nice to have it out of my head and on your screens. Lucky you, you get a personal look into Torey's life and thoughts!
I get to see Elliese again tomorrow! That's always a breath of fresh air to be with another Boiseian, makes me feel like I'm not the only strange half-hodunky person in Deutschland.
Just a quick shout out thanks to the Kless family, without them, I'm not quite sure where I would be. I love them so dearly...
And another big shout out hugs and kisses to my family in Boise!!! I'm so jealous of all the snow! Thank you guys for also being so supportive and lovely! I miss you all terribly!
I wish everyone a special November and stay warm!!!!!!!!!
PS CHECK OUT MY NEXT POST WITH PICTURES ATTACHED! SORRY THAT THE WHOLE BLOG IS IN BOLD SCRIPT.
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