Heimweh - Thoughts on Homesickness and my Previous Hatred towards Boise ID

So my homesickness finally arrived. Of course I was expecting it... I guess it just took me off guard. Swept me off my feet this morning in a very nonromantic way.
Homesickness has been a tricky friend of mine since I first started spending the night at my grandparents and grandmas house. You know what I mean right? You go to your grandparents house, its freaking awesome, you eat a bunch of sweets and watch movies that maybe you shouldn't be watching and its like the best time of your life! But then you're lying there on your grandmothers couch a few minutes after she tucks you in and you feel a hole in your heart. Like, oh geez, what if I need my mom tonight? What if I need my dad? What if they need me? It sinks in and the voices won't stop tugging at you until you burst into tears and end up calling your parents to rescue you from such terror. I had this happen so many times as a child. And in my teenage years when it wasn't cool to call your parents at sleepovers... The homesickness ate at me all the time. All I wanted was my bed, my dogs, and the security that I was there for my family at any moment of the night.
Moving to Germany was me facing homesickness, flipping it off, and moving on with my life. Or so I wanted it to be... But I remember those first six months clearly. They were full of tears, holes in my heart, and doubt. Was moving to another country for a year the right thing to do? I should've just stayed at home...
After six months, I found that the Kless's house felt like home to me, and while the Heimweh for Boise bugged me, it was overshadowed by how comfortable I was here. And when I left the Kless's to go back to Boise, it was another rough six months of having homesickness for Germany...
I don't think I'll ever live my life without homesickness. I was so homesick for Germany and when I got here, it was bliss. It was like waking up from a coma. Now that a month and one week has gone by, I feel the reality of leaving Boise.
While I never plan on living in Boise again, I will always miss it. I'll miss the mountains and the river, the Co-op stealing my money from me, the exciting moments when the Record Exchange had that one piece of music you were looking for... I'll miss the Hyde Park Street Fair, the time of year when the hot air ballons show up and you think to yourself "damn its that time of year already?". I'll miss midnight drives up to Bogus, the ability to get out of town and barely make it home on a half tank of gas... I'll miss walking past Boise High while on a guilt trip work out sesh at the YMCA.
Home sickness it not just about missing your house and your family... its about missing a community. While Boise simply was not the place for me to start my adult life, I will always love and respect it as a city that it simply gorgeous and full of life.

Pictures from the first month!

Because I can't control the format very well, just check out this random assortment of photos from the last month! Sorry that its backwards, but pictures of what my room first looked like is at the end... :) then just a few photos from hiking along the Elbe, hanging out with my Toddy man and Linda :) and! I also got to see my friend Elliese from Boise who is doing an exchange year in Flensburg, only a few hours away from Hamburg :)

One Month in!

Once Thursday shows up tomorrow , I will have been here in Wedel for one month! Its incredible how fast time has passed but how it feels like time hasn't passed at all... Very surreal, but at the same time, its very wonderful. I'm so so so happy and thankful to be back in Germany. I am the happiest and healthiest I've ever been in my life, both mentally and physically, and strive to continue trekking through my life with this outgoing attitude.
One of the best surprises I got about a week after arriving is that remodeling my room was to become a top priority. The room in the basement is the one I lived in last time I was here and it was about due time to clean it out and fix it up. Thanks to the wonderful family and friends that I have, my room has transformed into a glorious, spacious place that I love being in with the fluffiest carpet ever! I really can't thank everyone enough who helped make my new room possible.
A few German words that I learned through repetition whilst helping remodel my room are Staubig (dusty), Tapete (wallpaper), and Flauschig (fluffy). Tapete is a word that I struggled with because it sounds a lot like Teppich (carpet) and there was constant discussion with those two both in the sentences and it got quite confusing...
I'm slowing picking up my German speaking skills again.... slowly. Thanks to this last year in German 4, understanding and reading German has become no problem at all. My vocabulary expands every day and the most important thing to do is ask what something means! I still make newbie mistakes, but repetition has been good to me lately. Speaking is still taking a little bit due to being very self conscious about my American accent and the challenge of putting sentences together, but I will get there.
As of now, I have a few babysitting jobs set up that will run parallel with a German bootcamp course that starts in two weeks. I'm exciting to be in school for something at least, because I can't really study officially until my three month tourist visa is up, so this course should buy me some time in my weeks to come.
Besides remodeling and being with all my friends and family, I've picked up running and reading to fill in empty spaces in my days. Running has been good to me (no matter how much I hate it) and I just finished The Silence of the Lambs the other night, which was fabulous.
I miss Boise, but there's a strong feeling in my heart that tells me moving back to Germany was the right thing to do. I doubt I'll ever live in Boise again. Of course I will visit, but life feels a lot bigger than Idaho right now and that feels good. Someone asked me the other day when I planned on moving back to Boise and I really couldn't give her an answer. In fact, the question threw me off. I haven't really thought ahead of studying here... I guess we shall just have to see!

Now for a few pictures!!! On the next post because I can't seem to figure out how to put them on the same post!!! yay!!!